Mid Life Crisis

Ok... first of all, I don't really know if I am at mid-life or end of life or early life. That's one issue you have when you get to my age. Could go forever. Could end tomorrow. I just don't know.

Second, it's not really a crisis. But it made for a good headline for today's post.

I did, however, take some time out yesterday from our New Years' Eve party preparations to retreat to my private toy workshop behind the house. That's a big part of the reason I didn't post yesterday. I had intended to use the time to reflect on the past year... and overall, I have to feel it was one of the better years... but I ended up reflecting on my entire life. As you might imagine, I have a pretty unique perspective on the world at large. We all have a sense to do the right thing. We all want to be good. We all also have an equally powerful pull toward selfishness. When you look across history, you can see how that struggle plays out at the macro level. And I find it fairly easy to have a non-biased view at that macro level. It gets much more difficult when I look at myself. Did I do everything I could have done? Was there one more hour I could have given? Could I have been easier on Nice/Naughty list? Or should we have been harder? Should I have seen one more child at the mall? Should I have authorized one more toy to be built? How would it have changed a life? Would it have changed the world?

I didn't find any answers in the workshop. I did find a renewed commitment. I will give more than ever in 2008. I will make a bigger difference in 2008... I'm not sure how, but it will not be from a lack of effort. The time in the workshop, I believe, has changed my own personal course in life. I hope it can help change the world...

Well, I better get going. I'll be late for my own New Years' Eve party if I don't wrap this up... not to mention this feels a little heavy for the New Years' Eve party atomosphere.

Happy New Year, everyone!